¢ A Penny for My Thoughts ¢

you know what today, i'm so depressed. yeah you want to know why, go unravel it by yourself.

here maybe this will help.

you knw what, i dont think i am worth it after all. look, if you realise it, there are 3 other people or maybe even more. comparing them, i am not worth. its like they are so much better than me. it like if i was worth than there will be replies to the msgs i send. why is this happening. i know im not worth it. just let me die and be off with this thing. there are 3 people who too have the same motive. but yet comapred i am nothing. so why should i hold on to this dream of mine which will never be fulfill.

i really give up man. everything is not working. why should i hold on to this dream which is kept tightly locked in a bottle. the key was thrown into the carribean sea. this is the end of all hope and dreams. people dig a grave where lies my hopes and dreams for me

| Into My Thoughts @ 7:47 PM |

do you guys want to know the latest instalment.

today everything was fine ok. WELL AT LEAST UNTIL SHE GOT HOME.

well she got home and ok so the world was fine cause he was at home. i hope you guys know who i'm referring to. so he had to go for some stupid company dinner well how nice.

she just started nagging at me about that stupid music thingy. come on i have already done very well.
i dont know what is wrong with her. when he isn't around she is evil when he is around she is nice. what rubbish is this. peope what kind of mum goes two way psycho street huh. its like she isn't even real. so somehow i screamed at her for like 15 minutes. it was rather long thou. so now im blogging onto this nice blog where only sadness fills. ting wei must be so happy. cheers ting wei. your um is so not much worse than mine.

so here end another ordinary nagging day of my life. people i hater eveyrbody in this f.a.m.i.l.y and i wouldnt mind a place to stay. getting eyeliner tomorrow night.

| Into My Thoughts @ 9:50 PM |

whoa today was a tiring day. crazy. woke up at 10 something. oh well dragged until 10 30 than started on the over time. well there are like loads of them. lets see 16 pages course work for fnn which is like only half of the work require. 1 page report for english and 2 other comprehension. 3 chemistry paper and 3 maths paper. 2 physics paper. and more than 10 quesitons of poa on excel. crazy huh.

I BOUGHT A NEW BOOK WHOOOOOOOO~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ third book of matt freeman series by anthony horowitz. i shall help him publicize the book. i have the whole series of both the alex rider and matt freeman series. new book of alex rider coming out this year autumn. SNAKE HEAD!!! i'm gona get it. from starting of the alex rider series will be storm breaker, point blanc, skeleton key, eagle strike, scorpia, ark angel and snake head (coming out in autumn something something).

storm breaker is about this crazy man who is giving away a free computer that he created. the computer is called storm breaker. so this guy is giving away a free computer to all the schools in the whole country or world. cant remember. so this freak computer is scary ok. it has some disease that is related to dragon pox chicken pox. so this virus is a new thing ok. it was created to kill all the children in the whole world or country cant remember. so he did that just because the current president use to bully him in school. isn't that dumb. so he initated this plan and then alex rider had to stop him. arm with only a few gadgets he went from a normal school boy to a teenage spy. how interesting. go buy if intrested. if not ask me i have the book can lend you guys.

point blanc. a school on the hill top is some sort of disciplinary school that is meant for the ill disciplined filthy rich teenager. once sent to point blanc (the school) they will come back reformed straight away. as if the few days there will definitely change them. but it did. it changed many of the teenagers. but they were so different from before they went to that school. from their usual self. alex rider is sent there again undercover as some filthy rich guys son. HE'S DAMN LUCKY OK . THE DAUGHTER OF THAT MAN IS LIKE SO HOT!!! freak him. ok so he went there with gadgets. oh i just love smithers the fat guy who creates all the gadgets suitable for alex rider. hes like so fat and so clever. if you are intrested go get the book or ask me i have the book. i can lend it to you guys.

skeleton key. is about this general who is trying to explode half the world that trades drug all that rubbish which is deemed illegal. so if i'm right he's going to explode this whole bunch of nuclear submarines. he has his own private island called cuba. (i hope i'm right). so than alex rider was sent again to stop him. this general lost a son in war so when alex was caught by him, general sarov treated him like a son. he treated alex like his son because of the characther of alex rider and sarov son's was identically same. so he manage to escape and if i remeber. alex rider had this gadget which is a smoke bomb. it came in a FIGURINE OF A FOOTBALL PLAYER LOL. smithers is just soo gooood.

eagle strike. another everyday villian who wants to take over the world by bombing it with some missles. so this guy damian cray if im right hes a singer who does not promote violence drug even smoking. WELL LOOK AT THE GAME HE CREATED. HE'S SICK MAN game slayer a retardedly violent game. he has this crazy company that there is a real life size fo that game. everything in the gameslayer is real. the real game is used to kill people or something like that. some sort like a slow torturous way of killing someone, sick ass. disgusting freak. ended up alex rider got sent into that place. to see whether he survived that place, go get that book and you know what to do ask me to lend you. if not ask ming yang his cover page nicer. i got the kids edition. different cover page.

next book scorpia. alex rider set of to find out more of his father. in eagle strike this contract killer told him that his father was his friend and that if he did not believe it he can go to venice and look for this criminal organization called scorpia. his father turns out worked witih mi6 and was in scorpia to do undercover work. so alex went to work with scorpia and almost killed mrs jones. he was shot in the rib by a bullet and the ending is for you to find out. same thing ask me or go buy that book.

the book in which i frekaing dont have. ark angel. cant remeber much of it. if i remeber it contains the criminal organization involve with this thingy called the invisible swords i think. alex rider is sent to space to stop them as they had just launch some spaceship up there. ASK MING YANG FOR THE BOOK I DONT HAVE IT.

snake head i dont know anything about it yet. its a new book not out till autumn this year.

the next series that anthony horowitz will be the matt freeman series. the power of five. first book ravens gate. matt freeman is sent to lesser mailing for some teenage program. he had broken the law and was thus sent there to be under the care of some one else. anyway if i'm right hes and orphan. so he went there realized that the place IS FREAKING CREEPY. BEWARE OF LESSER MAILING PEOPLE IT SPOOKED ME OUT. so he realized he had powers and he raelized that there were five other people just like him. 3 other boys and 1 more girl. FIVE! matt freeman closed the gate that was at lesser mailing. RAVEN'S GATE. people. again me or buy the book.

evil star second book of the power of five matt freeman series. 2nd book matt found the 2nd gate keeper. pedro. the power of healing. pedro stoled matt watch while matt was in peru and they met each other just like that not bad huh. so than there wa s a 2nd gate in peru which involved the nazca lines. the nazca lines are weird lines in the dessert which was there for as long as people knew it. the day for tha gate to open is called inti raymi. somehow there is this guy called salamader diego. who has a frekaing long neck. to put it in simple words. he is disfigured. so there was this prophecy that one of the gate keeper had to die. but if the gate keeper had to die, the old ones will be release and the end of the world will began. matt manage to injure the king of the old ones called chaos. ended up matt exhuast all his power and the old ones were badly injured. they went to rest. same thing ask me for the book or go buy it its nice.

the book i jsut bought night rise the third book of the power of five series. so in this book, two more gate keepers are revealed. scott and jamie. they are twins. scott was captured by this company called night rise which is trying to release out the old ones. jamie got catapulated into the past 10,000 years ago where he fought the very 1st epic batle of the five against the old one. turns out one of the five in the past has died and that he was there to replace him. not gona say much go get the book or ask me. but if you want from me than you got to wait. bryon wants to read 1st.

ok so today went for a job application. went to AAA to apply. so im working this sunday at the it fair in suntec. sian bryon and jordan working thursday friday saturday and sunday so jealous. some more its my 1st time.
i'm like expected to sell the notebook. going to be difficult. so im like so dead. anyway i dont mind. pay's not bad. not saying much.

ok so this is the end of today rather tired people i still need my eyeliner and i need a place to stay if i run away. this is important people i mean everyword i say i never kid about stuff so serious. oh and come down on sunday to suntec city it fair instead of friday thursday and sat. dont give bryon and jordan service. go find the AAA booth or whatever i should be selling compaq or hp not sure night people.

LOTS OF HUGS AND KISSES

| Into My Thoughts @ 9:12 PM |

oh i just love my friends. what can i do they are so loveable.

so today went out with jordan before going to tuition. well we went to eat lan. it was fun man. 2 hrs of dota and cs not bad. so we were like playing playing playing. oh there were like tons of noobies of maple and audition in the lan shop. all so weak except for this pro of audition who was like just pressing the arrow keys so fast that it was like grease lightning. so we were like keep using the same gun. dam that jordan got 50++ kills for like 30 mins i only got like 30 kills so sad.

went to white sands to eat after eating lan. went to mac. damn mac was renovating so there was like a lac of space on the 1st floor how sad. jordan fetched me there on his bike. from elias to white sands not bad not bad. considering that im so fat. p.s( I DIDN'T PUNCTURE HIS TYRE WHOOOOOO~~~~~) man the macdonald at ws looks so much better than before. the new coat of paint make it looks so high class. so than went to tuition pang seh jordan first than go tuition. what to do my tuition at 2.15 his at 3.15. lol 1 hr diff ha has. so if im right he went back to choke on lan again ALONE HA HAS.

tuition was the same old stuff. listen do work understand. finish ready can go home. its like a rountine i dont want to be killed because of having a routine lol. so after the long 1 and a 1/2 hour of tuition than i was stucked with 1 hour of nothingess to do. so i went to downtown to look for the used shirt. and damn it the shirt was sold to some girl damn. damn i waited so long for that shirt than all sold out. hais. sian so i went to white sands to walk around cause white sands was like being converted into some big malls. so than went to my grandmother house. another standard routine.

so the main scope of the day happened at my granmothers house today. ok cut the story of what happened before the main scope. ok somehow my cousins and i were like downstairs the hdb playing the playground. so i was there too. so somehow after a while this guy came running towards out direction, he brushed pass me and ran past me cousin. than there was this guy chasing him. i was like oh no gang fight. than my cousin went oh no robbery. so we each have different views of what happened. so we just hecked it and went back to playing the ground. suddenly we were like playing and than i thought i saw this father like checking up on his young daughter like the daughter fainted on the ground. so thats what i thought. and it turns out it was the man who ran past us. turns out he molested some gir. and like that girl was the guy boyfriend. so the guy was pinned down IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD OF A CARPARK. how dangerous and. this was the conversation i overheard

molester: i'm sorry la ok. let me go la. i say sorry already.
man: YOU JUST MOLESTED A GIRL YOU FU**ING CH** B**.
molester: i'm blocking her only what than you say i molest her
man: shut up la some one help me pin him down im calling the police

so this guy in blue went to call the police. so than there was like three guys sitting on the guy and somehow he vomited. this was the next conversation.

molester: let me go i tell you i've changed
man: you shut up and wait here
(some other guy comes up and kickd the molester face like crazy)

so a few other people went to stop the kicker

so the crowd was like increasing like multiplying there was like over 30 people there. than some how that guy was like sturggling. oh and did i mentioned that that molester has a weapon. somehow when he ran past my cousin and i, he wasn't carriyng anythign except a plastic bag. than later he had this bamboo pole. how intresting. he must have went up to the 2nd floor and take it. so than the police took damn long too come. THE POLICE WAS LIKE AT THE OPPOSITE BLOCK and they took 15 mins to come lol. so than the guy was like resisting the police. damn after getting into the police car, he still went to kick the interior of the police door.

so whatever the whole episode ended and if you do not believe me read the newspaper tomorrow. this incident happened at 7.25- 8++. it happened at haig road inbetween block 8 and 9. the molester was a young malay and he was wearing a brown shirt and jeans and a belt. the police took 15 mins to come and after that in whcih they called for back up.

anyway now im rather pissed off stupid m.o.m started nagging about my phone bills. and its like she started her nonsense about calling him dad NEVER WILL I CALL HIM DAD freaking rubbish my m.o.m. narh not goin into details not enough time. m.o.m nagging about using comp to long rubbish. TING WEI IS SO HAPPY TODAY CAUSE SHE FOUND A MUM WHO IS MUCH WORS THAN HERS.

ok bye my timer just ringed mum will com in and nag details tomorrow k bye

| Into My Thoughts @ 9:58 PM |

may i ask you all something why must you do something that you are forced to do. what unreasonable nonsense is this. its like these people want you to do something JUST TO PLEASE THEM. like come on what rubbish is this. we have all the right to do what we want and what we dont want. we are who we are, not we you want us to be. like this is utter nonsense. let me give you an example

so lets say your mum is getting remarried. after your dad passed away. so after knowing your dad for like half of your teenage life. suddenly some stupid person comes in to ruin your life. you were doing fine before he came in. mum work to raise family help out everything. so you were doing fine for a period of time. everythin was fine than suddenly this person comes in. he starts to date your mum than in less than a month. THEY ANNOUNCED THAT THEY ARE MARRYING. what rubbish is this. for starters, you already hate that moron. sencondly, its been ONLY 1 MONTH PEOPLE 1 MONTH AND THEY ANNOUNCE THEY ARE GETTING MARRIED WHAT SHIT IS THIS. so than your mum starts to turn extremelt nasty when he's not around and extremely nice when he's around. what shit is this. you do not interfere about this rubbish as you know the consequences of what will happen if they do not get married. you made a pact to not call him dad at least uncle. its still respect.

YET! your mum starts forcing you to call him dad. you get so pissed off by the nagging the scolding. JUST TO CALL HIM DAD PEOPLE. is it that important to call him dad. he doesn't deserve it. so you carry on with your life, not calling him dad and everyday your mum keeps saying this. "my patience is getting very thin on you ar, when are you going to call him dad. you better start calling him dad now. if not it will be very difficult to start. i'm so dissapointed in you." what rubbish is that. i have my own right in not calling him dad. its called self esteem you shit bag.

do you know how much i hate you m.o.m i want to live my life. without you butting in and disturbing. your words just pierce through thy heart like a blade. you think its nice?? why dont i swap places with you huh. make you understand what is it like to be me.

than next you keep nagging me on my perfomance. why should i perform well infront of such a donkey. nag here nag there. everyday, almost everyday she will say the same thing. and the next thing is. you only failed one subject compared to the tests and the rest only one subject and you still say its not good enough. than what is good enough for you huh??

so now everyday you're forced to calll him dad in which you don't. what makes it worse is that your brother is a freaking saboter who everyday asks mum " WHY DOES BROTHER NOT CALL HIM DAD" WHAT RUBBISH IS THIS!!!! how do you expect someone who was so closed to his father suddenly start calling some stranger dad. FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE!!! readers digest for the month june states in which how a parent should handle their teens. GO READ IT FOR PETE'S SAKE. all those freaking thing you do that you think is right but infacft is wrong. what do you think you are huh, the greatest mum on earth.

why cant you just leave me alone and let em live my life huh. that way it will be so much better than the current situation. RUBBISH CRAP. do you think it is fun to get nagged at all day. what freaking rubbish is this, I GIVE UP MAN I GIVE UP ON THIS ENTIRE WORD YOU CALL Freakingly Annoying Monstrous Idiocticaly Loveless Yucky place huh.

I GIVE UP

| Into My Thoughts @ 4:01 PM |

ok people i know i have not been blogging for like ages so, SORRY!! well im back now and may not be blogging as much as last time nowsadays very freaking busy. so anyway there will be this phtospam of mine i dont know when definitely not today. maybe one of the holidays. this photospam will be pics and pics and pics only.

ok so today was a freak day. a normal day. hais what can i do. so went to school as usual took busn 81 than lalala got to school, sit at g.o, aassemble, lessons, lessons, lessons, recess chop table for jas they all cause briana had fever or flu or something. whatever it is that you're suffering from briana GET BETTER SOON AT LEAST BY TOMORROW THAN YOU CAN GO LISTEN TO AH TEO TALK POA =P than after recess lessons lessons lesson go home. boring day. reach home lessons again did pretty well for playing and theory. than done poa packed tomorrow freaking bag and went to blog so thats all for today people.

goodbye and may you be who you have not become and one who you fear most.

| Into My Thoughts @ 5:17 PM |

went to shopping today. and urm i know its weird 3 guys going for shopping. lol.

so me and jordan went to bryon's house today before going to dhoby guat(don't know whther i spelled the name correctly) to pcbunk. well somehow bryon wasn't allowed to go with us. how sad. so we went there to well like cricticise his verde buster gundam ha has. verde buster mouth broke head looked like a beetle's head yada yada yada. well it was the 1st time going to bryon house and was i lost. took bus 39 there and somehow couldnt find his block. i went around in circles. the sign didn't even put his block number. how freaky. so i was lost for about 10 minutes and alas i found his block. boy was i shocked. BRYON STAYED AT THE 4TH FLOOR!!!! i was like expecting him to be on the 18 floor or something at least 8th floor and above. lol its crazy i have this thought like houses on lower floors aren't that great. and was i wrong. his house was magnific. oui. so i went there and saw bryon's gundam. all were displayed on the speaker of the tv. so we were like

jordan: "bryon blast your speaker"
bryon: "why???"
jordan:" "later you see all your gundam fly"

ok i know that was lame. somehow i was rather quiet over there. can't blame it. his mom was there. had to make a good impression. lol later i kena blacklisted ha has. you know something, bryon's house the cups that me and jordan drank from weren't cups. THEY WERE WINE GLASSES!!!!! sheeesh lucky guy. and in the cup came cold chrysanthemum (think i mispelled this too) well it was my first time drinking it and i thought it was like urm, apple tea. like earth to mars there were ice inside. well it wasn't half bad. but damn wine glasses!! gosh. oh and bryon commited a crime today. killer litter. lol. lucky he was on the 4th floor or the impact of the plactic wrapped would be greated lol.

after that went to whitesands to eat. actually wanted to go to downtown to get the used and my chemical romance shirt. but we were pressed for time jordan and me were. so went to whitesands ate cavana. ate the same ol thing again. teriyakki beef hotplate. lol and somehow i think im getting a sorethroat. the ice lemon tea tasted like toothpaste. oh and jordan sadly, didn't ate himself. he left it untouched. damn briana will be saddened. jordan ordered teriyakki chicken hotplate and mountain dew. lol he likes it all right. anyway mountain dew isn't that bad. oh and the ya kun kaya toast at white sands was closed today looked like it was closing down. how sad i've only been there like 2 times.

so than took the mrt to dhoby guat. the train ride was BORING. we were like sitting there doing nothing listening to my olden mp3. what to do. i'm a poor person lol. well were staring at the window till dhoby guat. utter crap. when we reach there jordan me were lost AGAIN 2nd time of the day getting lost for me. we were like desperately finding pc bunk. and lucky we found it. ming yang told us to like meet him at pc bunk. this was the message hs sent us

mingyang- jordan and me : met outsyd pc bunk?
jordan and me- mingyang :LOL idiot
mingyang- me : i scared sum accountin ppl duno
mingyang- jordan: i scared some a-matha failure duno
me- mingyang: well speak for yourself you sent me a question mark with the message, you doubting yourself?
jordan- minyang: baka (i think he wrote that if not it was bastard)
mingyang- me: mayb

so he admitted he wasn't sure of himself either poor guy. not being able to be sure of himself. it will lead to utter failure. lol well later we reached pc bunk and we were like calling that mingyang. he offed his phone. SCREW HIM. so we went to zone x which was beside pcbunk to drown some balls and cars. somehow i forgotten my aunty was working there. NICE i finally talked to her. it was like ages since i talked to her. so we went to drown balls not bad most of my balls went in. than daytona jordan beat me again. cant blame the wheel was over sensitive. using that wheel you can turned the turn at the begginers courses which required drifting. you dont even need to drift. just turn the care and nice it turns. but unfortunately it took me like 2 races to realize it. like damn eveytime i drift the wheel being over sensitive will lead me to the grass damn. lucky i didn't spin. than shooot balls again than mingyang came. lol MING YANG LOOKED LIKE SOME BLOODY RICH KID. long sleeve collar and browon pants. makes you wonder whether to rob him or not. so than entered pc bunk and boy we were pissed. ~no admission to children under 16 before 6.30 pm~ dang we didn't had school today. we were like today we dont have school. and the cashier was like sorry. DAM my 1st time going pcbunk and no admission. the seats looks extremely comfortable. somehow ming yang dragged his dad and his brother to follow him. so had to watch what i say and do again. ming yang father was rather dao

me: oh hello uncle
ming yang's dad: huh??
me: hello uncle
ming yang;s dad: oh hi

lol wasn't that dao dumb dumb dumb. so than we walked to that hobby shop which was opposite the old duno some shoppping centre that jordan j loh and me went to eat lan. lol. so we went in to the hobby shop and there was this retarded rich person bought this big box of gundam. not the original 100++ type of gundam but much bigger that it was placed inside those lengthened cardboard box that had a handle on top. gosh he's rich man. guess how much ming yang brought today $400 !!!! crazy person i ojnly like brought 40 for the gundam buying. mad person. ming yang's dad i figured should be into this gundam collecting to. he liked named the gundam his son wanted. crazy. lol normally a dad would just ask his son to ask the person himself crazy. well ming yang brother didn't look like ming yang aat all. so comparing ming yang and his brother. MING YANG IS SEXIER AND MUCH HOTTER lol. really ming yang's brother looked like ming yang gorged his brother with cheese and curry everyday lol. shocking and his brother was whitish. lol ha has. so we walked pass a lan shop at dhoby guat which the rate was $1/hr crazy. $1 siao i think that there wouldn't be any security off your passswords over there. which means the lan there was more for counter strike and dota all these.

so we bade farewell to ming yang me and jordan went to0 simei to eat lan. actually wanted to go to kembangan but that ass said he wants to go simei. so we went lorh. anyway simei has 2 lan shop. couldnt enter 1 so we entered the other one. the other lan shop was like a paradise for drop outs or those people who would skip school just to eat lan. lol admission to people even thought its a schooll day lalalalla. not bad played an hour and this guy gave us this membership form to fill. if not the next time we had to go would be like 6 weeks late 6 WEEEKS crazy. the membership form needed well parent of guradian consent. it was good man. to prevent kids from skipping school to go eat lan. not bad. well but still there are loop holes. just the signature and the ic number. its really easy to get get their driver liscence or ic saying its for a project copy down the number forger the signature and there you have it memberhsip. not bad man. give a phony parents number and there you're a member. but i'm so not that evil to that extend. i gavet that form to my mum asking her to sign it lalala

so than we went out of the lan shop. actually jordan wanted to go home. he was afraid his mum would scream at him at the 19.90 gundam. lol well luckily his mother was still at the office. lucky him his mum's office was like at kovan. lol enough time for him to reach home. so lucky him. me and jordan bought shoes. yeah shoes. we were like shopping lol. and crazy the plastic bag that contained the gundam and the shoes were EXACTLY THE SAME only that it was in orange and purple. so than we went home. and well relaxed.

| Into My Thoughts @ 7:29 PM |

THE DOLL OF ETERNAL LONELINESS THE COSMETIC WHO HAS THE GIRL THE GIRL WHO DOESNT KNOW A SINGLE THING

nice, now he's your beloved one
the cosmetic
what about that doll in which you knew for so long
he use to stay close to you
but yet you cast the doll away

a doll has feeling too you know
feelings in which only dolly people will understand

i remeber the time you drew on me the doll
but yet you polish the cosmetic like its extremely precious
what happened to the girl i knew
what happen to her
why did she evolve into something alienic
something which is so new to this doll that the doll no longer feels

the doll was left in a dark and remoted shelve
a barren shelve
where only this doll lie

her table is filled more and more
day by day
by the cosmetics
everyday she uses it and once its gone
she throws it away

she visit the cosmetic shop almost everyday
but not the doll shop
she sees the doll everyday
the doll is just happy to see her face
but she just stares and walk away

with that same old atittude or hers
yet she just continue the same old things for everyday
until to the point that the doll just wishes to see her face

the poor old doll
left in a cold dark barren place
to suffer an eternity of loneliness

as long as the doll could see her face IT was happy.

| Into My Thoughts @ 4:35 PM |

THE DOLL AND THE PRETTY BOY THE BAIT AND THE FISH THE GUY ABOVE AND THE GUY A STREET AWAY.

aren't you happy now
you have that pretty boy with you
the boy that i cant compare up to

you giggle at him everytime you see his face
you got his number and somehow realise that i didn't exist
you long for him wanting to visit him everytime he works

he wait for you after work just to walk you home
he wishes that you were his and you wish the same thing to
somehow you just can't get him out of your mind
you blush whenever he talks to you

you flaunt you attitude towards me and treats that pretty boy like a jewel
what am i a bait?
i was there when you got his number
you were so happy that day
somehow i thought that everything would be alright
but instead the next day my heart shattered
everything was amiss
the love that was in the air above you eveytime i see you dissapeared
my heart broke and my mind was in a state of blankness
it was like the world had ended

only a day after you met each other
somehow you start dating
one day it was just one day
however hard i tried to be calm
i just couldnt be
my heart the frozen heart
felt colder than it normally felt
it was winter for my heart
but for you it was spring
spring in which the butterflies fly and love is in the air

he stared at me and i stared back
somehow he wasn't intimidated
he saw me as a fly
i saw him as a thorn in the flesh
he needed to be taken out
but i didn't have the heart to break your heart

so i just let it be
hoping someday you will love me as much as i love you
however i'm so certain that you dont know how i feel
as long as i see you
my bad memories are gone

i have fun whenever i'm with you and i know you too have fun when you're with me
the way you laugh
the way you smile
your attitude
makes me want to kiss you

but i cant
i dont have enough guts
what if that incident happened again
won't that be like deja vu

i couldn't take that saga
the way you ignored me
the way you didn't talk to me
it was like my heart was being stabbed
with different knives
everyday with a increase in the length of the blade
i couldn't take it and i broke down

now the pretty boy is with you
isn't he such a charmer
he walks you home even if he just met you
he must like you too
than how can i have the heart to break that happiness i see in you

he doesn't mind holding your hand infront of all your friends
making your friends to wish that they will have a guy like that

he came and i hope his leaving
however everyday i see you
you seem more and more into him

i was cast aside
like a doll that had been played since childhood
i was placed into the donation box
so that you have space for your cosmetics
and your cosmetics have to be that pretty boy

dont you realise that you would have known the doll at the back of your hand
you had the doll since young
you would know every inch of it
how many strands of hair it got
how many scratches it has
but no you had to bring in cosmetics and left this doll all alone
do you realise that you dont know the cosmetics well enough for you to even use it
how can you love him so much until you can throw away the doll

i was cast aside like a doll that has been worned out.
a doll that would only be taken down occasionally
i was hurt deeply
do you know that

everytime i look into your eyes i melt and my bad memories just dissapear
whenever i'm with you, my laughter will fill the air
whenever i'm with you tears of joy just streak down my cheeks

now i've been cast away
into the dark black pool
and you are running away with that pretty boy
what am i to you
what is he to you
is this the end.......

| Into My Thoughts @ 5:28 PM |

yesterday was paper 1 and 2 well like screw the paper. paper 1 was like what urm tough. the topic they gave were like so difficult to elaborate. somehow yesterday's english paper 1 was the very first paper that took me 10 minutes to think and i had to like concentrate on that bloody topic for so long. dummy compo, hope i pass.

somehow paper 1 the letter writing, well i didn't really know what to do. well luckily i just wrote dear sarah than bla bla bla. so lets hopes its right. not left. paper 2 was fun. it was like whooowheee so easy. eat my shoe paper 1. i finsihed the dumb paper like 40 mins before time. than i realised i forgotten to leave 3 lines after each question. damn shit! so went back to copy my answers onto another sheet remembering to leave 3 lines and in the mean time correct the answers. hmmmm hope my summary is all right. this is the 1st time i wrote a summary that manage to meet the requirement of 150 words below. phoooo. after both paper went to hmm study. well really study 1 page of the social studies text book with briana and jasmine.

somehow after reading one page i didn't want to read no more. so i somehow just chatted with them. than we went to the arcade to play. considering that we went home to change. so jasmine was like playing dance dance revolution (ddr) and boy did she not seem any better than she was before. maybe of the 1 year interval of not playinf (ddr) thats why. some how i don't know how, i was hmmmmm how to put it eh well made to play that (ddr). end up i laugh and laugh at the thing. it was like so funny i couldnt get to the right keys lol. ha has left right up down already cannot liao later kena force to play para para. LOL so i went lo play a while nia, if i'm right i think i failed the para para. not sure is it. somehow couldn't hit the north west and north east arrows. so like miss so many. well we went to burger king to study before the arcade and there was this very cute cashier there. somehow the girls kept giggling at him and the guy like kept looking into our direction. oh the burger king at down town right there are three beayooooootiful letter on the ceiling the three letter are, f , c , u somehow it was somehthing like that. so all of us wondered how in the world did they get high up enough to put those letter there.

after playing arcade, it was like already 4+ and jasmine was complaining she was hot. hmm yeah she was very hot considering after all the jumping and prancing in the arcade. so we went back to BK and well you can guess it they chose the seat that was hmm have a clear view of that guy. how thick skinned. so we sat there and chatted till 5+ until somehow jasmine friends said that the bbq would start at 6. like what the hell we waited so long. well never mind that. ended up the bbq started at 9!!!!!!!!!! i had to like get home before 10 people. so jordan and me went to the dummy bbq, jordan fetch me there on his bike. nice man. somehow i think i deflated his tyre. ha has. so we were like there than we dao all jasmine friends at the bbq we just listened to out mp3 talk to each other dont care the rest of the people. so than jordan and i were getting extremely bored there and we were like there for only hmm 15 mins. so me and him went to play the swing at pasir ris park.

i dont know why but everytime i ride on something that goes up down up down, i get motion sickness. my head just get this severe headache for a while. so i stopped swinging and hanged there. than later after a while the sickeness as gone phew.

after the swingzation, went back to the bbq to ask briana whether she wanted to go home together. she was like never mind i later go home with jas. so that was the end well jordan brought be to the bus stop. i was like forcing him to walk me to the bus stop i went like jordan what if you dont see me on wednesday. so on the way back it was around 9 closing to 10, well i called ying since we were outside her house and disturbed her a while woooooo. this is the convo

phone rings rings ying picks up

j ho: ying why you havent sleep yet.
ying: urm cause tomorrow is a holiday.
j ho: why your light still on.
ying: how you know
j ho: we'll outside your house.
ying: who is we'll
j ho: jordan and me, open your window
ying : where are you all
j ho: (walks into ying's view)
ying : orh
jordan : just now j ho scream your name so loud you never hear meh
ying: huh got meh
jordan: ya he scream your name 4 times some more
ying: diao i never hear
j ho: eh we can go in your house not, very hot just walked from pasir ris park until here
ying: arh i watching maple times on youtube
j ho: never mind bah we only called to disturb you bye

lol so wasn't that fun.

| Into My Thoughts @ 10:40 AM |