Have you ever thought about dying?
have you ever imagined yourself dead?
I know its a bit too early
but the thought just came to me
For I certainly have.


For me, its not about the pain,
for me, its the loss or memories.
I dont want to loose my memories, they are too precious.
just imagine, dying
and you know you died, you're in a better place
but you loose all your memories.
All the memories you held so dear
all the memories that made you remember the loved ones around you
all the memories of the people you truely loved
and they all just get washed away, wiped away
CLEAN

You loose your memories,
not knowing who you are,
who you loved,

only knowing that you're dead

not emotionally
but physically and mentally

thats what frightens me about death
i dont want to loose my memories
the thoughts that i have
loosing my memories
feeling helpless
not knowing what to do

again amnesia is as bad as death
you loose your memories
but at least there are people around to tell you
make you remember
who you are
who they are

but when you die
all your memories gone
no one there to help you

your existence erased from the face of the earth
nobody remembers
nobody to remember

just like that
you loose you concious self
like you went to sleep
except longer
a dreamless sleep
a sleep that is forever

I dont want to loose my memories
the people i hold dearly
I know its too early
but everyday
there will be people dying
and some of them are really young

isn't it time
we give thanks?
for living for a good long 16 years and maybe with more to come

Dying,
loosing your memories
loosing the existence
people forgetting
you forgetting

those people we've lost
they continue living in your memories
but what if
what if you died
and you lost your memories
i'm afraid, i wont remember the people whom i lost
i dont want to loose them
its a reality i must face
that i know
but i want to remain in denial
until that day comes
and if i were to die,
i want to die with my memories
my memories will continue living inside me
and that it wont be erased

but is that possible

Labels: another day thinking deeper into my thoughts

Yes tomorrow would be prelims.
and i feel extremely pressurised.
Why does everyone think i'm smart???
when i know i cleary am not !


Tons of people are expecting me to get A1's and its not only coming from my parents
its coming from like everywhere i go.


Oh well anyway on a brighter note, i have realised that those people
who post a lot a lot of photos of themselves on their blogs gets tons of hits!
its like people only want to know about the outer beauty and not the inner one.
Oh well so considering the hits they get, i therefore shall follow suit



Recently, i went to some rock concert. So backstage, i took a picture of the lead singer. Dont get jealous people, i got his autograph too =)
(its damn obvious that, THAT is me)


(yes britney type hair thing)



And yes this lead singer is one of the latest and hit groups that has ever come to town! Their songs have top the charts of Timbaktoo top hits list, songs like, THE ALPHABET SONG, THE NUMBERS SONG, THE PLANET SONG, THE DAY SONG, THE YEAR SONG and of course THE BARNEY SONG!
Yes so this is another photo of the pop singer person type thing.


and now for the ultimate picture of this person the most ultimate one that made briana laugh her ass off.


WELCOME TO GOTH MAKEOVER!!



(yes i know i look hot in eyeliner)

haha.

This is why i love drama! We get to do whacky stuff and get away with it, without people commenting like

person 1: EH YOU SIAO SI BO (eh you crazy is it)!!!
person 2: #%@#*%! YOU THINK EMO COOL AH!!
person 3: I SEE YOUR FACE I FEEL LIKE PUNCHING
person 4: I'm so much hotter la~~
person 5: SI GIN NA LE SI LIAO (damn kid you die already)!!


yes this is the weird people we face.

Oh well without that hair , On with the eyeliner and if i was wearing white,
people have said that i would look like this




I know its such an insult that someone as fugly as me will end up looking like that guy over there which girls have said to go "oooooo" "ahhh SO CUTE" "AHHH SO KAWAII!!"

yes the amount of weirdness we go through and yet no one seems to realise the weirdness we go through.

I will not camwhore unless its some whacky picture like the one above (rachel is going to kill me for using the word camwhore) yes camwhoring is so not fun unless you have some thing weird on you =) oh yea no offense to those people whom i just randomly thought out. if you are in one of the above categories please feel free to ignore my post and also treat it as a no offense type thing.

-sadly, people only want the outer beauty of people but not any of the true beauty that lies within

Labels: another day thinking deeper into my thoughts

She needed a holiday,
to escape,
escape from the world.

She needed to Run
Run away from the horrors,
the horrors that plague the streets,

She could not endure any longer,
That hypocrites shuold not exist,
that this world could be a better place,

sadly she knew
that this world would never change,

She needed a holiday,
to escape,
escape from the world.

But she knew, she couldn't.

She was nothing amazing,
nobody great,
She was neither rich, nor was she pretty,
Her grades were average
and she knew that there was no place in the world for averages.

She wasn't street smart,
She wasn't book smart,
She wasn't good at sports,
nor was she good at arts,
She was just average.

She felt useless,
a good for nothing,
having no one for respect,
nobody know whether she exist,
all she wanted was some recognition,

but the title given to her would be
The Girl Next Door.

That ordinary girl,
that girl who stayed next door,
that girl who is seen taking the same route everyday
but nobody cared
about her

She needed a holiday,
to escape,
escape from the world.

Into a world,
where there was
no hatred,
no poverty,
no sadness,
no jealousy.
n0 loneliness,

and this world where she would live in,
she would be happy,
happy and contented,
free from the burdens of the world,
free from the cruelty of the world,
free from the hatred,
the lies
the cheatings
the hypocrites
the above ones
the disrecpectful
the greed
the loneliness
the what ifs
and the fear of living another day
another day,
another day of routines
emptiness
sadness

and this was who she was

She prayed to god
praying for an answer
an answer of why did god create her
when she was nothing but average
and she was clearly good at nothing,

was her purpose to be just someone invisible?

because no one sees her,
no one hears her,
her thoughts are ignored,
her existence unknown.

and she sits by the lake
hoping for an answer
an answer telling her
who she was meant to be

Labels: Another day thinking

It is during these times, that we see the true horror behind the masquerade we all live in.

We have all seen the competition
that made this place cruel
We have all seen the selfless acts
knowing only for themselves

It is through these times that made me realise
that this world IS cruel.

no wonder the wars
the poverty
and the unhappiness.

the backstabbing has begun
and now it is what they would call survival for the fittest

and i have see through these eyes
that what these people are fighting for,
is basically nothing.

because all they want is that sinful piece of paper
which change thise world so much now that
it is pracitcally in Ruins.

It is during these times that i have seen
how horrible the world has become
and this horribleness does not only apply only to the adults
but mostly this horribleness has been passed down
to their offsprings

the future generation

and it is during this period i see
the countless cracking under the stress
the many losing themselves

and many others losing their humanity

why do they change?
to something much more horrendous than what they already are
Or is this the true them?
Have they finally taken off their masks?

for this world now
is nothing but a room
holding a party known as
Masquerade.

Are these truely the friends we made?
or did these friends manipulated you ?
Did they only think for themeselves?
Have they ever thought about you?

maybe i'm no one to comment
because i'm just a spectator at the sidelines
watching the game
the game in which

makes this world a "better" place

Labels: Another day thinking

Have you ever wondered about the people above?

why is it that the people above are always the smart ones
but the decision they make
often leads to what we call stupidity

Why is it that he commoners below
are often deemed stupid
when what they understand is what those above do not

And those above would tend to say
that those below are dimwitted
and do not understand how their plan works

but one thing is defintely for certain
the people below knows
that the decision those above makes
would result in more lives being loss
more casualties.

Because those above are greedy
they are never contented
they are biased
that's why family members normally become members of those above

because we know that democracy is just a word
its nothing but a word
that covers what truely lies beneath

and yet the people have no voice
they have no say
they are afraid

and those people who died at war
those who died
those who belived they were fighting for their countries sovereignity
they died for no cause

because of this
lets all rise
and sing a hymn for the dead (tribute to those who have died in war)

Song Hymn for the dead by anti flag

Sing a hymn for the dead
Because in death as in life
we are one in the same
Sing a hymn for the world
To avert eugenic errors, go!

The sun sets, the light fades
The blood red on an empty street
It's not night, it's not day
It's no more, for an unfortunate soul who
Witnessed his life violently erased,
From the horror of the human race
Bright futures exchanged for profit, living half alive

Sing a hymn for the dead
Because in death as in life
we are one in the same
Sing a hymn for the world
To avert eugenic errors, go!

In life now pay respects to your blood
Those in the vast of the great
Unknown, unite there, your heart's one
in moments you'll never forget, yeah
History lessons direct from the grave
Lost souls of the lost divide
Liberate your generation, living, rotting flesh

Sing a hymn for the dead
Because in death as in life
we are one in the same
Sing a hymn for the world
To avert eugenic errors

Call out tyranny!
A spark of dissent can light a fury of flame
Call out to be free!

Sound off! Be the voice of a generation
Dissent! You've got a choice to make
Sound off!Be the voice of a generation
Dissent! You've got a choice to make

Strip away! Be the voice of a generation
Strip away! You've got a choice to make
Cut away! Cut away!
Strip away! Strip away!
Cut away! Strip away your chains!

Sing a hymn for the dead
Because in death as in life
we are one in the same
Sing a hymn for the world
To avert eugenic errors

Sing a hymn for the dead
Because in death as in life
we are one in the same
Sing a hymn for the world
To avert eugenic errors, oh!

Taken from Source
Hymn for the dead by anti flag

Labels: Another day thinking

Now presenting the artwork that was marked by senoir art person thingy WAYNE CHIA



Drum roll please * DRUMS DRUMS DRUMS*

wa la the amazing beak. (just in case you can't visualise, tilt your head )




currently in school now

well yesterday during mother tongue,
well mother tongue after the O's is like a waste of time,
wayne and i was bloody bored so we did something creative !!

So a Nursery 2 art work was revived. (guess what i scored 72/100 for this piece of work) how humiliating.

we did something pretty amazing.

well i'll post the photo later when im at home. the photo is not with me now .

i'll post a short post about my thoughts than

It is here, where i realise
that everything is not cut out to be whatever it seems
because everything around is nothing but pack of lies
and not matter how much contribution you make
it all boils down to whether they recognize you exist
because i have seen the system in a school like mine
and frankly, i'm certain it can be better
the chaos which i saw
was unimaginable,
underserving of it, deserving of it
all these people, they got the same results,
which degrades the better ones
and they would have lost their self worth

because they realise the time they wasted
the time in which they can spent on more productive stuff
is wasted
purely wasted when people around you gets the same result.
in which they never did do much

and what about those people
who are hypocrites
who thought their marking criteria are the same
who thought that they are better because they got a better result
when we purely know the different marking criteria and obviously which one is stricter
and yet we get crictisised because they got better
we know the difference
we know which group gets better grades
because the marking scheme is not strict
not stringent
and it is the tricks in which won them that underserving and unneeded
award
floaty head

we have done more
but we are not recognised
they have done less
they are recognised

evidence is lying everywhere
but it is those on top
who refuse to believe in the evidence
which results in those below
having their future ruined

because what those on top believe
is that everybody deserve a good future
but it is because of this
they made an irony
where the same results result in a future of demise

it is because of this we know
there's no point in doing all these anymore
we know we should have spent on time on better things
because we know that those above
turn their noses
in front of evidence

to make the organisation their in
Rise
which makes them fal l harder

we have agreeed we wasted out time in this organisation
because we know whatever we contributed
was all in vain

Labels: another day thinking deeper into my thoughts

He wish he had wings.
why is he just a mere mortal and nothing more ?
why couldn't he be someone special?
why is his soul trapped in this fragile body?

This body without elegance
without grace
without poise

average looking
average smartness
average body

he was nothing but average

he wish he had wings
so that he could go to the girl who stole his heart
so that he could protect her
and be with her always

he tried to do that without wings
but he couldn't
he wanted so much just to be with her
but he couldn't
he was too weak
he was too pathetic

all he is would be average

and the countless times he tried
he failed
no matter how hard he tried
he failed

and the rare chances that success surfaced,
an unforseen circumstances would appear

he wanted to make her happy
but he couldn't

and the countless times he wondered
what was going inside that head of hers
he never could come up with an answer

he wished he was something extraordinary
nothing of the normal or the average

but he wasn't
he wasn't dazzling
he wasn't smart

all he had was his wild imaginations

which was completely useless in these situations

he wanted to be someone more
someone
someone
someone

but he was a nobody

Labels: Another day thinking