"a splendidfully wonderful day today was" that would be the heading for this post if not for the last paper returned.

yeah did badly in exams again oh well nothing much to say seriously but seriously what kind of bloody faggot am i to be able to do so badly in exams. its like the worlds biggest loser or something. i wont be surprise is next year during o level results or maybe in 2009 o level results, i have no where to go and that i have to retake o level as a private student. like what the crap man.







uh huh somthing is seriously wrong took me 15 minutes to log in. what the hell came in to say hi well than good bye ^^




this heart is not half empty and there is where i stay. without a fully filled heart. the familys broken and there is it. the intoxication of one without a kin. the lost of someone close to you. and there i stand without a piece. a piece of the puzzle, thats missing forever until the day. which i know will never come unless you have supernatural powers. and there i sit staring out the window thinking about you. the one who i greatly miss, the one who loved me more than this world did. the one who showed me how to be a human, to get out of the molting to become a man. but than before the lessons ended, you had to leave. my greatest professor that taught me things that classes would never teach, where this life will never tell. secret he never told anyone else. we werent just father and son. we were best of friends. the young and the old. the story of a boy and a man unfolds. until the story come to an abrupt ending. and there the pages that were meant to be filled remaind just plain sheets of white.

everyday i write letter in my head addressed to one recipient. with simple three letters. hoping that you would always be with me. whereever i go. until this story ends. but the story has already ended. i dont want to forget you face, afraid to wake up not remembering you and that you become a completely unknown. i know you're out there somewhere, but are you still with me?







its just another typical day, under the scorching sun with none.
it comes and it goes just like that,
the chill of the wind,
the scorch of the sun
and yet everyday i see and hear and do the same thing
i see my m.o.m getting overly frustrated
what an irony
considering her current situation
i hear the screams of people suffering in silence
and behind comes the voice of the culprit
standing with his/her arms folded
laughing
i do the same thing over and over again
listen and see

eyes bestowed upon me
without it
i wouldn't be able to do what i do everyday
have you stared into a persons eye
and read his feelings
her emotions
and their past

have you seen the look of hatred
or the look of sadness and sorrow
where what they have suffered
mount everest can withhold

or the happiness in their eyes
or maybe their laughter
or maybe just the look of what a care free life they have
in which the sun can never overcome the brightness

and then i will stare into blank space
and think
why do people suffer
what a sad life they have
why is it that the majority
have the look of weariness and sadness in their eyes

i stopped thinking and look out of the window where i sat
and wondered
when will there be a person
who is able to break down the barriers in my mind
to get to how i feel and the emotions i have
how much i have suffered and how happy i was
how this world affects me and how i think

i sat there and wondered

with eyes that see more then the mear surface
i read through words and get to your feelings
and then i see again
the life you have enjoyed or suffered

the bell rang
and i got up
and walked through the world
that wasn't moving
despite the pace of each and everyone
i trudge along with the burden
of this pair of eyes
and the secrets i have heard
keeping them with nothing
but a empty heart
readied to be filled
until it can no longer contain

and then you stood there
the alone person who was moving
the alone person who i could see
despite the moving world

and i tried reading through your eyes
to see what i have seen and felt
and there i tried
trying to break down the barriers
but yet there were too many

i listened for the final password to break the barriers you have set up
and then i realized
not matter how hard i try
i will never be able to break through
and then somehow i felt something
going through each and every barrier i created
ones own parent would be able to penetrate the childs barriers
but mind didn't
i wasn't expecting her to break those barries i set up
each and every one of them
the mazes the puzzles the codes and the traps
nothing worked

one by one they fell
and she reached my heart
and read me like an open book
i stood there paralyzed
i didn't know what to do

but one thing i knew
someone in this world was able
to see through this pair of glasses
this pair of eyes
and enter into another dimension where
secrets lies

i love you for that
<3 my wonderwall

it was thee who broke the barriers

and there i stand bewildered

by your awesome ability

to read through

the toughest

of all

minds