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Tuesday, September 25, 2007


i should have known you would leave me to suffer the sucker punch of getting abandoned. i don’t know why i delude myself into thinking everything’s going to be fine when the answer stares me in my face and spells out your treason.
i’ll linger in these rare moments of happiness forever but i can’t say for sure that when the time comes, i will be remembered for being the bitter, the brave and the masquerader.
people ask why i changed and why i lie, but the truth is, no one knows the person i once was and the person i have become; not even me.
i don’t think i’ll ever be able to fill in the void you created but i’ll shove you in the dark, along with everything else i never ever want to remember. i wanted to now you, to gain a little insight into what a ormal life could be, but i think i’ve gotten a little too far and i’ll never retrace my steps, stranded in the lonely marshes of the murky memory lane that was once the epitome of sunshine, spring and the wind in my hair. it was you after all, who would bring me Apocalypse, the end of all the beautiful things i’ve ever known, and also the end of the echoing sounds of metal against my beating heart and my ravaged soul.
i’ve been run down, dragged up and down the street and been treated to a healthy dose of the sort of grimaces you’d give a tentacle ridden monster that just waltzed into your living room, oozing heaven-knows-what slime all over your best carpet.
so please, don’t give me your smile that’s worthy of an Oscar award, don’t even try to catch my eye.
there’s so much hatred, i’ll have to swallow it all in lest it runs amok and fulfils the sort of horrors i daren’t even attempt in my dizziest daydreams; because i, of all people, know the damage that can be done when grievances are nurtured.
don’t ask me why, because it was a culmination of all the things i’d hoped would never happen. i know i deserve it for wanting to get things done and never pushing hard enough for them. that was just one of the things you taught me about my useless existence but circumstances made me choose what seemed to be the most viable option.
’cause you shine even in the blackest of nights


and this is where i stand in the middle of the horizon'
by rachel ma
(but the red words are done by me =P)

| Into My Thoughts @ 9:11 PM |