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Tuesday, January 1, 2008


and you asked why and all i had to answer was i dont know. its strange and yet every where i go, reminds me of the presence in which you leave me with. the translike state in which i could never grasp.
no matter how many times you break this tattered heart of mine, no matter how many times you want me to live without you, i just cant simply do it.

it hurts not hearing your voice for even and hour everyday. your laughter that made me smile. even if we did not get to see each other often, i still loved you deeply. its amazing how far we went but it shouldnt have ended. it was just 15 days ago, you brought misery to yourself. i still cant bear to leave you. even if fate says the same thing.

the thought that you have, it will never happen. for i am now a man without a heart. my heart still hasn't return, it still belongs to you and its fluttering right outside your door wishing and hoping everyday that that door will open so that it can enter to its threshold once again.

i've made mistakes, countless times, but the worst mistake i ever met was to return to the shadows where i once resided in. i went back to the time where there was no one in the world who cared. and i felt ever so lonely. but still i could not forget you.

maybe im just selfish but i still want you to be mine and no one's else. nothing has changed and i aint mad at you. the only thing that im mad at is that you had to go and hurt yourself, so deeply.

and this might seem melodramatic and that maybe this is just all a dream but when i hear you laughing, my heart just leaps. when the rain pours and you have a long bus ride and thoughts of doubts and sadness comes into your mind, it breaks me down that you had to hurt yourself.

i made a promise to you, that i will never fade away, i made that promise sincerely. cause no matter what happens, i still want to be with you. you gave me a life that i could never really comprehend.

i wish everynight that you would still be mine and i lied. i did not ask santa for one only thing during christmas eve i asked that you would love me back. thats all i asked for.

i cant bear to loose another loved one. i've lost too many. though the laughing and joking exterior i show. theres a sad little kid inside.

i thank you for finally not protecting the posts of me and you. i thank you for all the times i spent with you and i still want to be with you.

will you still be mine and then things could revert back the way it was
or rather can i still be yours
i <3>

| Into My Thoughts @ 5:42 PM |