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Wednesday, January 30, 2008


-if only... if only...-

the walls are closing in, the room is getting colder and all he could think of, is that girl who is away. she isn't around, it feels as though she left him. and he realises that he would break down, if she left him. he realise that she's the only one, who realises he exist, that he isn't just a subistutute friend. she was the only one that made him feel wanted. He cannot imagine, what would happen, if she left him, and fade away into the darkness.

just one day, he could not face it, not being without her. only one day. he knows that he still loves her, but what he doesnt know. what he wish to hear, is that to know, to hear it, from her lips, from her heart, that she still loves him. and that she ended it, because of a doubt. but somewhere deep down, he wants to know that she still loves him.

he is still clinging on, to what but naught is just a mere flame, that would take ages to be rekindled. but his heart does not waver, his hopes still clung, onto the possibilty that is 1/infinity that they will get back. he still loves her, and she knows it. he would do anything for her, she knows it, but she thinks that she isn't good enough for him.

this inferiority complex is what she implanted into her mind. she thinks she isn't dazzling, but on the inside, she's more than dazzling. who said anything about choosing because of looks. he still loves you, yet she wouldnt give him a second chance. she wouldnt let him heal her broken heart. she wouldnt let him listen to her sorrows, but day-day, he tell her his. if only she would know, that he really means it, that he would not give up. even if it means being her best friend......

if making her happy means keeping his distance, he would do it, if making her happy, means dissapearing, he would do it, though he knows how painful it is. he knows that she would never want it, she doesnt want her heart to be shattered again, due to insecurities. if only he knew how she felt, if only he knew whats going on in her mind. his time belonged to her, but she's returning it all back to him.

he was looking for a rainbow, but there isn't one, not even with the rain and the sun battering down onto his back, the shadow trailing off, finding another owner to possess, for he has lost all life that once was in him. no matter how strong he may look on the outside, how weak his body is, the weakest part is still his heart. his eyes are bluring as he types this, he thinks he's loosing his vision but he knows better.

if only things could go back to the way it used to be

all he wanted was on last good night,
one last hug,
a last kiss,
but
they never
came
.
.
-he loved her enough to let her go...-

| Into My Thoughts @ 9:37 PM |