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Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Have you ever thought about dying?

Have you ever thought about dying?
have you ever imagined yourself dead?
I know its a bit too early
but the thought just came to me
For I certainly have.


For me, its not about the pain,
for me, its the loss or memories.
I dont want to loose my memories, they are too precious.
just imagine, dying
and you know you died, you're in a better place
but you loose all your memories.
All the memories you held so dear
all the memories that made you remember the loved ones around you
all the memories of the people you truely loved
and they all just get washed away, wiped away
CLEAN

You loose your memories,
not knowing who you are,
who you loved,

only knowing that you're dead

not emotionally
but physically and mentally

thats what frightens me about death
i dont want to loose my memories
the thoughts that i have
loosing my memories
feeling helpless
not knowing what to do

again amnesia is as bad as death
you loose your memories
but at least there are people around to tell you
make you remember
who you are
who they are

but when you die
all your memories gone
no one there to help you

your existence erased from the face of the earth
nobody remembers
nobody to remember

just like that
you loose you concious self
like you went to sleep
except longer
a dreamless sleep
a sleep that is forever

I dont want to loose my memories
the people i hold dearly
I know its too early
but everyday
there will be people dying
and some of them are really young

isn't it time
we give thanks?
for living for a good long 16 years and maybe with more to come

Dying,
loosing your memories
loosing the existence
people forgetting
you forgetting

those people we've lost
they continue living in your memories
but what if
what if you died
and you lost your memories
i'm afraid, i wont remember the people whom i lost
i dont want to loose them
its a reality i must face
that i know
but i want to remain in denial
until that day comes
and if i were to die,
i want to die with my memories
my memories will continue living inside me
and that it wont be erased

but is that possible

I don't want to loose my memories
it's as if i lost a lot
because the people i lost
thhey continued living
in my memories

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| Into My Thoughts @ 9:53 PM |