¢ A Penny for My Thoughts ¢

I know you didn't

Do you see that kid?
Sitting in that corner?
The kid who was so afraid.

I know you don't.

Did you look into her eyes?
The eyes filled with
fear
hatred
loathe

I know you didn't

Did you talk to her?
listen to her problems?
because all she needed
was a listening ear

I know you didn't

Did you ever once
listen to her explanation for the things
she'd done wrong?

The reasons why
The logical explanation of it all?

I know you didn't

Did you ever not jump to conclusions
maligning the poor girl
of every single thing
in which she did not do

I know you didn't

Did you ever love her,
as much as you love
the one who came in

I know you didn't

Did you ever see her?
Crying,
Hating
Swearing

I know you didn't

Did you ever took a glance at her,
and let her know that
she existed

or did you just do it,
when you were bored
and needed someone's accompaniment

I know you do that all the time

Did you ever wondered
why she never strayed
over to the "dark side"?

I know you didn't

Or did you believe
that she was still a kid,
a kid who will always remain
7
ignorant,
innocent,
pure,

I know you still believed

Did you take time
to listen
to her sorrows,
the songs she listens to
and felt how she felt
about you

I know you didn't

Did you remained by her side
in her deepest darkest moments
where she sought
the blade,
the height,
the night lights,
to end it all
even when you were present,
and you could have stopped the tragedy
because you were present

I know you didn't

Did you see her as who she was
instead of her
as the image
in which you wanted to create
that perfect painting

I know you didn't

Did you ever understood?
Why she did the things
in which you found hatred in?

Did you ever thought
for a moment
that what she was doing
was to benefit you,
to help you
so that you wouldn't be
lonely
affected
annoyed
unhappy

I know you didn't

Did you realise
that she started hating
coming home
that this home
was now
a cold place
where she remained invisble
until you want to see her

Because i know you didn't

Did you ever sought help?
for yourself
for her
and the entire family
because she knew you did
when we were broken

but you didn't know
she knew

Did you ever wondered
why she only has one pair of jeans
a wardrobe
that was all black
a wardrobe that never changed for years

I know you didn't

Did you ever wondered why
everytime you ask to go out
for a family outing
she refused
and when she had no choice
there wasn't
a shining sun?

I know you didn't

Did you ever realise
how broken she was
how hurt she was
and how piercing
your words were

I know you didn't

Did you ever compliment
or was everything just
you can do better

and when her dumbness showed
you chose to magnify
compound
multiply
intensify
Did you feel how she felt?

I know you didn't

Did you realised why
she found her paradise
in a place known as
a book

I know you didn't

Did you ever realise why
she always wore black
why she could never smile properly

I know you didn't

Did you ever realise
that she was hiding
hiding everything
from you
away
to prevent
avoid

I know you didn't

Did you ever wondered why
the doors closed?
the musics loud?
and hear the screaming
behind it all

I know you didn't

Did you ever look into her soul
before she enclosed it
into a hard shell
never to be opened again

I know you didn't

Did you ever wondered why
she hated talking to you
or have you realised
that she was a human

I know you didn't

Did you ever look at her
upon as someone
who would accomplish
great things in the future
or was she another average
created by the likeness
of you?

I know you didn't

Did you ever look
behind it all
the walls
the barriers
the doors
(you gave up halfway)

I know you didn't

Did you ever wonder why
she took a liking
to becoming anti-social
becoming alone
becoming quiet

I know you didn't

Did you ever heard the word
Sorry
I'm certain plenty of times
from her
But did she ever hear it
coming from your mouth
even though
she was wrongly blamed
for the things she didn't do

I know you didn't

Did you ever waited
for her to come home
were you ever worried
about the pain
the dagger
sheathed into her
heart

I know you didn't

Did you ever tried listening
to her mind
the sentences
that she wanted to say
the stories
she wanted to tell

I know you didn't

Did you ever look her in the eye
and said
i love you
sincerely
and not because you done something wrong
after she was 8

I know you didn't

Did you ever wondered why
her memory was really good
were you ever worried
of what memories
she would be remembering
and what she wouldn't be

I know you didn't

Did you ever
took the time to realise
the ever summounting
hatred
sadness
coldness
she felt

I know you didn't

Did you ever listen properly
to every single sentence
she actually said to you
did you hear
the plead
the malice
the sadness
the anger

I know you didn't

Did you ever see the scars
inflicted onto her body
the injuries she took so much pain into hiding
so as not to trouble you

I know you didn't

Did you ever wondered why
she withdrew into herself
never to have a proper
chat
with you
again

I know you didn't

Did you ever wondered why
a good kid will stray
away from the proper path
away from the way where everything was right

I know you didn't

Did you ever wondered why
no matter how hard you tried
you couldn't reach
the cold girl
that was once named
sarah

-Jonathan Ho

I know you didn't

I know you don't

Alone in the darkest hour she was

Alone was her in this world

Alone was her where she'd endure the taunts

from those so called

Alone where she was

even though the place

was what it seemed to be

Alone in a place

where there will never be

Alone because she knew

she knew you didn't know

-Jonathan Ho

Labels: Another day thinking

| Into My Thoughts @ 6:55 PM |